The FearLess LoveMore

Let’s be honest. The priority for most of us when choosing a partner isn’t who we trust with our hearts. It’s who we want the most. You can see that and I’m out of time. It takes a lot of us to get into relationships, and have kids with people. Often by the time we realize whether or not we can trust someone, we are already involved with them. I’ve done it before. Got in a relationship with somebody, then claimed after it was over that they changed. The reality was I did not take the time to actually get to know who they were originally. So who am I to say how much they really changed?

A crucial dichotomy often emerges between who we want in a partner and who we trust with our hearts. It’s a delicate balance that requires introspection, discernment, and a deep understanding of our priorities. For many of us, the initial attraction and connection with a potential partner are fueled by desire. We are drawn to certain qualities, traits, and characteristics that resonate with our preferences, values, and aspirations. 

You like the physical appearance, you like the style, you like the things they do for you, you like the way that they make you feel. Your hormones get jumping, chemistry happens and attraction is created. 

This attraction is natural and can be a powerful motivator in forming connections and exploring romantic possibilities. However, desire alone does not guarantee a healthy or fulfilling relationship.

On the other hand, trust plays a pivotal role in the longevity and depth of a relationship. Trust encompasses reliability, honesty, transparency, and emotional safety—the essential ingredients that foster intimacy, vulnerability, and mutual respect between partners. Trust is earned over time through consistent actions, open communication, and a genuine commitment to each other’s well-being.

The challenge arises when there is a disconnect between who we desire in a relationship and who we trust with our hearts. Often, our desires can overshadow our ability to assess a person’s trustworthiness thoroughly. We tend to give people we want more chances regardless of whether they’re not they’ve shown they’re trustworthy enough to handle them. We may be enamored by someone’s charm, charisma,  or physical attraction, but these qualities alone do not guarantee that they are capable of earning and maintaining our trust. 

It’s important to recognize that while desire can be a compelling force in the early stages of a relationship, trust is the foundation that sustains it in the long run. Rushing into a relationship based solely on desire without considering trust can lead to disappointment, heartache, and potential relational challenges down the road.

Taking the time to get to know a potential partner on a deeper level, observing their actions, integrity, and consistency, and engaging in open and honest conversations about trust and expectations are crucial steps in building a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Who’s going to show up for you to the best of their ability? Who’s going to make the best decision for your relationship even when it’s hard? Who’s going to listen? Who’s going to work things out with you? These are all more important questions than whether or not you love this person, or want them.

Ultimately, finding the right balance between desire and trust is a personal journey that requires self-awareness, discernment, and a willingness to prioritize emotional well-being and relational harmony. By aligning our desires with partners whom we can trust with our hearts, we pave the way for authentic love, mutual growth, and lasting happiness in relationships.