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Be real with yourself: A Guide to Self-Reflection and Growth

Life can be a shitshow. We often find ourselves swept away by a whirlwind of emotions, thoughts, and responsibilities. (kids don’t listen, you’re single and can’t find someone, or in a relationship with someone easy to find) Amidst this chaos, it’s easy to lose touch with our inner selves and the truths that lie within us. However, there is immense power in having honest conversations with ourselves – a process that can lead to profound self-awareness, clarity of thought, and personal growth.

My journey of self-reflection has evolved significantly over time, thanks to a practice I first adopted from “The Artist’s Way” by Julia Cameron. Initially, I began writing out 750 words per day as a form of creative and emotional expression. This practice inspired someone to create the site 750words.com, which became an integral part of my daily routine for many years. I transitioned to voice typing my daily entries, which led me to start saying them out loud. It was during this period that I stumbled upon the transformative experience of recording my reflections. While browsing through files on my phone, I discovered these recorded entries and decided to listen to them. This accidental discovery gave me a new perspective as I heard my thoughts about life spoken aloud, allowing me to absorb and reflect on them without the pressure of actively articulating them in the moment. This shift from writing to speaking and then listening marked a profound evolution in my self-reflection practice, deepening my understanding of myself and enhancing the authenticity of my introspective journey.

Why Honest Conversations Matter

When we talk to ourselves, whether silently in our minds or out loud, we engage in a process of self-reflection and self-analysis. This introspection allows us to examine our thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and motivations more closely. It helps us identify patterns of behavior, uncover underlying fears or desires, and gain insights into our true selves.

One of the key benefits of having these conversations out loud and recording them is that it forces us to confront our thoughts and emotions directly. When we keep things in our heads, our emotions can easily distort or influence the narrative. By speaking aloud, we externalize our thoughts, making them more tangible and separate from our emotional fluctuations.

The Process of Recording and Reviewing

To harness the full potential of honest conversations with yourself, it’s essential to establish a structured process for recording and reviewing these dialogues. Here’s a simple guide to get you started:

1. Set Aside Time: Find a quiet and comfortable space where you won’t be interrupted. Set aside dedicated time for this practice, whether it’s a few minutes each day or a longer session weekly.
2. Speak Aloud: Start by verbalizing your thoughts and feelings out loud. Express yourself freely and without judgment. You can talk about anything that’s on your mind – your relationships, career aspirations, fears, dreams, or struggles.
3. Record Your Conversation: Use a recording device or a smartphone app to capture your spoken thoughts. This step is crucial as it creates a record that you can revisit later without the filter of immediate emotions.
4. Listen with Objectivity: After recording your conversation, take some time to step back and gain a more objective perspective. Playback the recording as if you were listening to someone else’s story. Pay attention to the tone, words used, and underlying themes.
5. Reflect and Respond: Now comes the critical part – reflect on what you’ve heard. Be brutally honest with yourself as you analyze your own words and sentiments. Identify any recurring patterns, areas of growth, or areas where you may need to challenge your assumptions.

Embracing Your Best Self

“Reflect within to project without.” Without self-reflection, the mirror merely echoes your surroundings.” 

Your life will always be a reflection of who you think you are and what’s in your environment. You can’t change that. All you can change is how damn close you stand to the mirror. At the end of the day, it’s all about gaining perspective and taking responsibility for the energy you bring into your space.